Deep Immersion
I just got back from a 9-day retreat with Gina at the jungle camp know as Ashi Meraya (El Mundo Magico). To quote Steve Martin, "WOW, all I can say is "WOW!". I highly recommend this retreat to anyone wishing a deep immersion into the life and culture of the Shipibo indians and their plant medicines. These amazing Shaman have been able to tap into natures wonders using the Amazon plants as a medium in highly respectful and protective ceremonies. The songs they sing, called "Icaros" are a national treasure and through Don Alfredo and his wife come to life in rich, full splendor. It's an unforgettable, life changing experience for those who wish to change their lives for the better.
Kevin Clowe 6/14/2011
kevin@hauoli-hosale.com
I just got back from a 9-day retreat with Gina at the jungle camp know as Ashi Meraya (El Mundo Magico). To quote Steve Martin, "WOW, all I can say is "WOW!". I highly recommend this retreat to anyone wishing a deep immersion into the life and culture of the Shipibo indians and their plant medicines. These amazing Shaman have been able to tap into natures wonders using the Amazon plants as a medium in highly respectful and protective ceremonies. The songs they sing, called "Icaros" are a national treasure and through Don Alfredo and his wife come to life in rich, full splendor. It's an unforgettable, life changing experience for those who wish to change their lives for the better.
Kevin Clowe 6/14/2011
kevin@hauoli-hosale.com
Deep Healing Visions
It wasn´t until I was out in the jungle that I began to see what ayahuasca can really do. I had no idea. The real shamans down here have their discipline down to a science, and I´m not speaking frivolously here either. They know what they are doing with this powerful medicine, and they go in deeper than I previously realized was possible.
Purging is an important part of healing in the ayahuasca experience, though it doesn´t necessarily happen every ceremony. Purging is a physical event, but it is also a very deep psychological cleansing. I felt sick and vomited one time (out of the four ceremonies during the retreat) and when I purged, something came out of me that I didn´t even know was inside of me. I recognized that what I had vomited had been something that I had held onto inside of myself for many years.
What came out of me (in my mind and vision as I was purging) was something like worms and nasty rottenness of a filthy black bird. The bird was vomiting through me, but it was also coming out of me in pieces as I vomited. I even heard myself making a sound similar to a crow cawing as the nastiness left me. Then I saw the contents in the bucket and knew that the darkness (that I had been holding onto) was gone and no longer inside me.
Because of the darkness that had been inside of me, there were many times in my life that I could not feel when it was important to feel, and I did not help others when it was important to help. I also realized that it was the source of years of depression. All of this reflected the depravity of what I had been holding onto inside of myself. I have felt different ever since this purging in a very satisfying way.
Visions
This purging took place at the beginning of the second ceremony, after I drank some particularly strong ayahuasca. After I vomited my vision opened up and the Earth appeared before me, not as a globe but as the living entity. The visions which I saw seemed to be a release of information after the blockage of energy (in the form of a black bird) had been released from my psyche.
The maloka (ceremony space) was dark, but my vision opened up to a landscape. A Shipibo Indian woman was sitting next to me, and another Shipibo woman was sitting on the porch of a house in front of me. There was a yard around the house and the jungle stretched off into the distance. I was shown how beautiful the jungle is, but how terribly dangerous it is as well, and the message was clearly conveyed that I must never go into the jungle without a guide. Mother Nature would gladly consume me if I was so foolish as to simply step into the mouth of her gaping jaws.
One of the shamans of the ceremony was with me in the vision, and he showed me that I did not have to sit in my body in the maloka, but that I could stand up and walk with him. I stood up and went with him, and he showed me various parts of the jungle where he sometimes liked to go to. We went to a house where a family was staying. They seemed happy that I had come to visit them. They showed me many things about the jungle.
Suffering
Something strange happened from time to time during the course of the last three ceremonies. I would hear the loud chirping, buzzing, screeching sounds of the jungle around me, and then they would fade away only to be replaced by the sounds of emergency sirens. I recognized the sirens and their meaning was clear. These sirens were the sirens of the Japan tsunami, and I saw the waves coming in and tearing the world apart. I saw the ghosts of families washed away to sea, soaked and sometimes covered in seaweed, enter the maloka and stand before me. This was not the only suffering I saw.
I saw the suffering of the world through the eyes of many different people, which made the experiences a bit overwhelming at times, as many people were going through the most horrendous of trials and ordeals. I saw through the eyes of the sick and injured. I saw through the eyes of those who had found themselves in the scariest and most horribly depraved situations. I saw the devastation of families whose loved ones had been murdered. On and on it went. I saw the suffering of the world through the eyes of strangers, as well as through the eyes of people in my own life.
I finally understood what my father went through as he held my grandmothers hand for the last time, as she laid on her death bed. I finally understood how my sister felt as her beautiful daughter, not knowing what was happening to her, kept vomiting and vomiting and had to go to the hospital. I finally understood the Japan tsunami and the strength and resolve that it took for the survivors to stick together and keep going on after the destruction. I understood their connection to their families and loved ones, as well as their connection to the ghosts of the dead. I was shown this suffering for a reason. I was shown how strong we are, as a species, because we have the strength and resolve to go on and continue living, even in the most dire situations. Family is very important, family strengthens us, and it is important that we have the strength and resolve to carry on in even the most dire and depraved situations.
The Message
I saw human history and it appeared not as a series of haphazard events, but as a series of well timed and orchestrated events preparing us for what is to come in the future. It is very easy for us to see (if we take a step back and look) that our world is changing very fast and that something really big is coming.
I was shown that, though most priests and most people do not realize this, even the major religions of our world have been preparing us for what is to come by encouraging a belief in God - because this is essentially on the scale of what is coming, and whatever it is, it is the only thing that can save us. Everything that has happened throughout history has been preparing us for what is to come. There are no accidents. Everything is in tune and the concept of intelligence goes far beyond what most people would ever dare to believe. We can call this evolution, but how well do we really understand this process, or the outcomes, beyond the scope of human history and rationalizations?
All of the atrocities that we have experienced on our planet, as well as all the goodness and light that we have experienced, serve a greater purpose - which is the preparation of our species for our cosmic awakening. We would never know strength if we never had to be strong. We would never know resolve if we had never been in situations where we had to make real decisions. This seems to be the basic message of what I was seeing and experiencing during the ayahuasca ceremonies of the retreat.
We are being groomed and prepared for integration into the spiritual family of our universe, and we can´t step into this unaware or with our eyes shut. Billions of years of extra-terrestrial space lies before us as the Continuum, and it is even more dangerous and wild than the most dangerous and wild places on our planet. We need to be prepared. Like the Japan tsunami, our world may soon seem as if it is coming to an end as we come face to face with the vast age and depth of the Continuum. It is important that we follow the example of the tsunami survivors and have the strength, coordination, and resolve to carry on.
What I saw during the ayahuasca ceremonies during the retreat was profound and terrifying for me, but I have never before felt such peace. Like the Babe of the Abyss, I realized that I must strip myself of everything. Whatever I can give of myself, I must give. There is too much suffering in our world, too much pain, and so much work that I need to do on myself to be of service to my community and our spiritual family.
I saw that what we call God is the Sacred Family and the trust that inherently goes along with being a part of it. I heard this in the energy of one of the maestras as she sang her icaros. I have never before known such heartfelt warmth. It seems that this warmth has been with me in spirit for a very long time, but in my sickness over the years, I was unable to feel or even recognize it.
I understand more clearly now that I will never, as a mortal being, fully understand the depth of the mysteries of existence. The Sorrow and Mystery of our Great Mother is Hers alone to bear, but this is also beautiful because She knows all of our pain, and She is always with us and She is us, all things and beings.
Everyone who works with ayahuasca will have a different experience, no doubt, but for me I feel that my experiences have been truly life changing. I will never forget what I experienced on this retreat here in the upper Amazon of Peru.
Shawn Paulson
spaulson101@yahoo.com
Retreat hosted at the Ashi Meraya Healing Center (El Mundo Magico)
It wasn´t until I was out in the jungle that I began to see what ayahuasca can really do. I had no idea. The real shamans down here have their discipline down to a science, and I´m not speaking frivolously here either. They know what they are doing with this powerful medicine, and they go in deeper than I previously realized was possible.
Purging is an important part of healing in the ayahuasca experience, though it doesn´t necessarily happen every ceremony. Purging is a physical event, but it is also a very deep psychological cleansing. I felt sick and vomited one time (out of the four ceremonies during the retreat) and when I purged, something came out of me that I didn´t even know was inside of me. I recognized that what I had vomited had been something that I had held onto inside of myself for many years.
What came out of me (in my mind and vision as I was purging) was something like worms and nasty rottenness of a filthy black bird. The bird was vomiting through me, but it was also coming out of me in pieces as I vomited. I even heard myself making a sound similar to a crow cawing as the nastiness left me. Then I saw the contents in the bucket and knew that the darkness (that I had been holding onto) was gone and no longer inside me.
Because of the darkness that had been inside of me, there were many times in my life that I could not feel when it was important to feel, and I did not help others when it was important to help. I also realized that it was the source of years of depression. All of this reflected the depravity of what I had been holding onto inside of myself. I have felt different ever since this purging in a very satisfying way.
Visions
This purging took place at the beginning of the second ceremony, after I drank some particularly strong ayahuasca. After I vomited my vision opened up and the Earth appeared before me, not as a globe but as the living entity. The visions which I saw seemed to be a release of information after the blockage of energy (in the form of a black bird) had been released from my psyche.
The maloka (ceremony space) was dark, but my vision opened up to a landscape. A Shipibo Indian woman was sitting next to me, and another Shipibo woman was sitting on the porch of a house in front of me. There was a yard around the house and the jungle stretched off into the distance. I was shown how beautiful the jungle is, but how terribly dangerous it is as well, and the message was clearly conveyed that I must never go into the jungle without a guide. Mother Nature would gladly consume me if I was so foolish as to simply step into the mouth of her gaping jaws.
One of the shamans of the ceremony was with me in the vision, and he showed me that I did not have to sit in my body in the maloka, but that I could stand up and walk with him. I stood up and went with him, and he showed me various parts of the jungle where he sometimes liked to go to. We went to a house where a family was staying. They seemed happy that I had come to visit them. They showed me many things about the jungle.
Suffering
Something strange happened from time to time during the course of the last three ceremonies. I would hear the loud chirping, buzzing, screeching sounds of the jungle around me, and then they would fade away only to be replaced by the sounds of emergency sirens. I recognized the sirens and their meaning was clear. These sirens were the sirens of the Japan tsunami, and I saw the waves coming in and tearing the world apart. I saw the ghosts of families washed away to sea, soaked and sometimes covered in seaweed, enter the maloka and stand before me. This was not the only suffering I saw.
I saw the suffering of the world through the eyes of many different people, which made the experiences a bit overwhelming at times, as many people were going through the most horrendous of trials and ordeals. I saw through the eyes of the sick and injured. I saw through the eyes of those who had found themselves in the scariest and most horribly depraved situations. I saw the devastation of families whose loved ones had been murdered. On and on it went. I saw the suffering of the world through the eyes of strangers, as well as through the eyes of people in my own life.
I finally understood what my father went through as he held my grandmothers hand for the last time, as she laid on her death bed. I finally understood how my sister felt as her beautiful daughter, not knowing what was happening to her, kept vomiting and vomiting and had to go to the hospital. I finally understood the Japan tsunami and the strength and resolve that it took for the survivors to stick together and keep going on after the destruction. I understood their connection to their families and loved ones, as well as their connection to the ghosts of the dead. I was shown this suffering for a reason. I was shown how strong we are, as a species, because we have the strength and resolve to go on and continue living, even in the most dire situations. Family is very important, family strengthens us, and it is important that we have the strength and resolve to carry on in even the most dire and depraved situations.
The Message
I saw human history and it appeared not as a series of haphazard events, but as a series of well timed and orchestrated events preparing us for what is to come in the future. It is very easy for us to see (if we take a step back and look) that our world is changing very fast and that something really big is coming.
I was shown that, though most priests and most people do not realize this, even the major religions of our world have been preparing us for what is to come by encouraging a belief in God - because this is essentially on the scale of what is coming, and whatever it is, it is the only thing that can save us. Everything that has happened throughout history has been preparing us for what is to come. There are no accidents. Everything is in tune and the concept of intelligence goes far beyond what most people would ever dare to believe. We can call this evolution, but how well do we really understand this process, or the outcomes, beyond the scope of human history and rationalizations?
All of the atrocities that we have experienced on our planet, as well as all the goodness and light that we have experienced, serve a greater purpose - which is the preparation of our species for our cosmic awakening. We would never know strength if we never had to be strong. We would never know resolve if we had never been in situations where we had to make real decisions. This seems to be the basic message of what I was seeing and experiencing during the ayahuasca ceremonies of the retreat.
We are being groomed and prepared for integration into the spiritual family of our universe, and we can´t step into this unaware or with our eyes shut. Billions of years of extra-terrestrial space lies before us as the Continuum, and it is even more dangerous and wild than the most dangerous and wild places on our planet. We need to be prepared. Like the Japan tsunami, our world may soon seem as if it is coming to an end as we come face to face with the vast age and depth of the Continuum. It is important that we follow the example of the tsunami survivors and have the strength, coordination, and resolve to carry on.
What I saw during the ayahuasca ceremonies during the retreat was profound and terrifying for me, but I have never before felt such peace. Like the Babe of the Abyss, I realized that I must strip myself of everything. Whatever I can give of myself, I must give. There is too much suffering in our world, too much pain, and so much work that I need to do on myself to be of service to my community and our spiritual family.
I saw that what we call God is the Sacred Family and the trust that inherently goes along with being a part of it. I heard this in the energy of one of the maestras as she sang her icaros. I have never before known such heartfelt warmth. It seems that this warmth has been with me in spirit for a very long time, but in my sickness over the years, I was unable to feel or even recognize it.
I understand more clearly now that I will never, as a mortal being, fully understand the depth of the mysteries of existence. The Sorrow and Mystery of our Great Mother is Hers alone to bear, but this is also beautiful because She knows all of our pain, and She is always with us and She is us, all things and beings.
Everyone who works with ayahuasca will have a different experience, no doubt, but for me I feel that my experiences have been truly life changing. I will never forget what I experienced on this retreat here in the upper Amazon of Peru.
Shawn Paulson
spaulson101@yahoo.com
Retreat hosted at the Ashi Meraya Healing Center (El Mundo Magico)
Time Goes by Slower in Nature
Time goes by slower in nature. The busy lives of the western world prevent people from taking a break to breathe, truly breathe. I thought time would fly by during my stay but instead it felt immeasurable, because it just is. Both the Amazon and Ashi Meraya were so foreign to me yet they delivered the feeling of home, comforting. I laid my eyes on the Shipibo people and warmth grew inside me as it seemed love and beauty radiated from their very soul; they lived not through their physical appearance but the spirit that occupies this vessel we call a body.
This journey was not planned, nor was the decision to go thought through. I felt it was the right time for me as my mind ran ramped with uncontrolled chaotic thoughts that I had learned to live with. Even in good times and in times of joy a lingering itch of confinement and dissatisfaction gripped my soul, chaining me down to this dismal reality I called life. The seconds ticked by like hours and hours like days; death should never be a wish for anyone but bearing a fascination with fading away way was certainly no stranger to me. Hovering inside a shell of flesh and bone, desertion overflowed my mind with the imagery of seeping out of my pores like a cold sweat on a damp night. As I slipped out of dimensional focus I knew I needed healing, something deeper than what modern medicine heals as my spirit was wounded. At the age of 20 and having never been out of Canada I was calm and collected as I ventured out of my homeland and into new territory with hope for a cure; a sense of peace.
As I arrived my eyes feasted on the forest and were comforted by the sounds of nature as I submitted myself like a child in its mothers embracing arms. The atmosphere was most definitely different and a wave of anticipation washed over me as certainty grew with confidence that I should be here – in the now.
Upon meeting the Shipibos I had a consultation with the head Maestro in which I divulged my reasoning for this journey and what I hoped to achieve in the time of my stay; without holding back I opened up but still a lot of darkness was subconsciously contained as I was blinded by my comforting ego. Throughout the stay I engulfed myself in the rituals and ceremonies with true concentration, knowing that it will be hard work to rid myself of this void; hard work for mother Ayahuasca, hard work for the shamans but most of all hard work for me.
The ceremonies sent me through opposing spectrums of tribulations and euphoria. I was opened up to so much more of myself in which I closed off to protect, to fulfill this happiness inside of me that was, with such clarity, a false happiness. On such a scale that cannot be measured for human comprehension, its force, it was overwhelming; both light and dark, my submission gave me the strength to endure this transcending state of timeless being. I could feel the shamans, see the spirits and became the energy that flowed through every living organism oiling this machine we call earth. My focus and determination led me to a world of ancient power filled with light and love. This beauty was so ineffable, my purposelessness and dissatisfaction that lingered began to dissipate and my very soul became saturated with an overflow of hope and reassurance that this light is forever in us and can never be forgotten or destroyed, nor overpowered by the dark.
My perspective has changed, replaced with acceptance and a towering optimism, eluding from judgment and differences. This new world promotes a new lifestyle not by choice but because it is what I feel. There is a secret held in this ancient plant medicine and many others on this planet that allow us to access this hidden knowledge deep inside of us but it is not a secret selfishly keep to themselves; it is a secret unfortunately forgotten over decades of differences.
Chris Berki
c.berki@hotmail.com
Time goes by slower in nature. The busy lives of the western world prevent people from taking a break to breathe, truly breathe. I thought time would fly by during my stay but instead it felt immeasurable, because it just is. Both the Amazon and Ashi Meraya were so foreign to me yet they delivered the feeling of home, comforting. I laid my eyes on the Shipibo people and warmth grew inside me as it seemed love and beauty radiated from their very soul; they lived not through their physical appearance but the spirit that occupies this vessel we call a body.
This journey was not planned, nor was the decision to go thought through. I felt it was the right time for me as my mind ran ramped with uncontrolled chaotic thoughts that I had learned to live with. Even in good times and in times of joy a lingering itch of confinement and dissatisfaction gripped my soul, chaining me down to this dismal reality I called life. The seconds ticked by like hours and hours like days; death should never be a wish for anyone but bearing a fascination with fading away way was certainly no stranger to me. Hovering inside a shell of flesh and bone, desertion overflowed my mind with the imagery of seeping out of my pores like a cold sweat on a damp night. As I slipped out of dimensional focus I knew I needed healing, something deeper than what modern medicine heals as my spirit was wounded. At the age of 20 and having never been out of Canada I was calm and collected as I ventured out of my homeland and into new territory with hope for a cure; a sense of peace.
As I arrived my eyes feasted on the forest and were comforted by the sounds of nature as I submitted myself like a child in its mothers embracing arms. The atmosphere was most definitely different and a wave of anticipation washed over me as certainty grew with confidence that I should be here – in the now.
Upon meeting the Shipibos I had a consultation with the head Maestro in which I divulged my reasoning for this journey and what I hoped to achieve in the time of my stay; without holding back I opened up but still a lot of darkness was subconsciously contained as I was blinded by my comforting ego. Throughout the stay I engulfed myself in the rituals and ceremonies with true concentration, knowing that it will be hard work to rid myself of this void; hard work for mother Ayahuasca, hard work for the shamans but most of all hard work for me.
The ceremonies sent me through opposing spectrums of tribulations and euphoria. I was opened up to so much more of myself in which I closed off to protect, to fulfill this happiness inside of me that was, with such clarity, a false happiness. On such a scale that cannot be measured for human comprehension, its force, it was overwhelming; both light and dark, my submission gave me the strength to endure this transcending state of timeless being. I could feel the shamans, see the spirits and became the energy that flowed through every living organism oiling this machine we call earth. My focus and determination led me to a world of ancient power filled with light and love. This beauty was so ineffable, my purposelessness and dissatisfaction that lingered began to dissipate and my very soul became saturated with an overflow of hope and reassurance that this light is forever in us and can never be forgotten or destroyed, nor overpowered by the dark.
My perspective has changed, replaced with acceptance and a towering optimism, eluding from judgment and differences. This new world promotes a new lifestyle not by choice but because it is what I feel. There is a secret held in this ancient plant medicine and many others on this planet that allow us to access this hidden knowledge deep inside of us but it is not a secret selfishly keep to themselves; it is a secret unfortunately forgotten over decades of differences.
Chris Berki
c.berki@hotmail.com
